Maps
by saamiiieexbaabee
Summary: Jackson (Chase Coleman) and Sam (Steven Strait) were happy together until one argument left Sam standing out in the rain watching Jackson's headlights disappear into the night. Two years later Jackson returns to town in hopes he can repair his relationship with Sam but is anything as simple as it seems?
1. Chapter 1

**Maps**

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><p>Summary: Jackson (Chase Coleman) and Sam (Steven Strait) were happy together until one argument left Sam standing out in the rain watching Jackson's headlights disappear into the night. Two years later Jackson returns to town in hopes he can repair his relationship with Sam but is anything as simple as it seems?<p>

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><p>chapter one . say anything<p>

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><p>I still remember that night as clear as day. It was raining. Mentally scoff right? How cliche. But any who it was raining which isn't that surprising seeing as we lived in Forks, Washington the rainiest state in the whole of the United States of America. Excuse my slight over exaggeration but yeah as I said it was raining. It had been raining all day so I had been cooped up in my boyfriend's house all day.<p>

It had been my home since my parents had died in a freak car accident when I was seventeen years old. I had always imagined moving in with my boyfriend back then. I had originally planned it out that we'd moved in together when I graduated the following summer but fate didn't respect my plans and with no family left in Forks I didn't have many options.

Sam didn't mind though. That's my boyfriend. Samuel Levi Uley. He was already living alone since he was five years older than me. We had started dating secretly when I was sixteen and he was twenty-one. Call it what you want but we were in love. Though most of you may say I was a crazy, love-struck teenager. Trust me I heard it all before. But anyways, Sam was already living by himself and took me in with open arms. That was that on the matter. I lived there happily for four years before that night.

As I said I was cooped up Sam's house, due to the fact it had been raining all day, but today was different. Normally I would of been cleaning or cooking for myself and Sam but today I just sat on the foot of the stairs with my suitcases by the door.

I had probably packed and unpacked them at least seventeen times since Sam had left for work that morning. Each time I packed them the little voice in my head reminded me of everything I was giving up if I went through with my plans of leaving him. It reminded me that we had five years, five happy years under our belt and it shouldn't be thrown away over something so stupid.

Though the reason I left wasn't stupid to me at the time.

So every time I packed my bags I would reconsider and unpack before I reminded myself of why I was doing it in the first place. It took me nearly most of the day to finally to bring myself to carry those bags to the foot of the stairs. I don't even know how long I spent crawled up against our bedroom door at the top of the stairs, crying my eyes out. All I do know by the time I had managed to bring myself to carry the suitcases to the foot of the stairs, my tears had dried and I felt numb.

And there I sat. The neck of my black t-shirt was soaked with tears and my cheeks felt uncomfortably dry. I kept wiping my sweaty palms on my dark denim jeans as I waited for him to enter the front door. Probably with her in tow.

Time disappeared around me as I waited. All I could concentrate on was was the beat of my heart and how I could hear it in my ears as he quickly pumped blood around my system. The pace quickened as the anger boiled through my veins. I was ready to explode and I guess it was apparent in my facial expression because as soon as Sam stepped through the door with _her_ in tow, he put his hands up in defence.

"Baby are you okay?" He asked as I stood up, glaring at _her._ Sam looked at me and then the suitcases before quickly turning to _her._ "Emily I think you should go." Emily. That was her name. She was my friend's cousin who had just moved to town a few months ago. She wasn't anything special in my eyes. She was pretty of course, they always are. She had long raven black wavy hair, big brown eyes and long legs. But her personality was as boring as watching paint dry. I couldn't understand what everyone saw in her. Everyone loved her and she loved all the attention. Especially when Sam gave it to her. I didn't take a blind man to see she was in love with him and that meant she hated me. She didn't bother to find it unless Sam was around.

Sam thought she was amazing. They became fast friends so that meant she was always coming around the house to have dinners, watch movies, take Sam shopping for clothes. In a way she was slowly trying to replace me but of course only I could see it. All my friends thought I was going crazy. But I wasn't. I just saw through her games and after I saw Emily and Sam kissing on the porch two nights ago I'd finally had enough.

"No Emily stay!" I shouted as I through my hands in the air. "Stay and just take my place. I know you've been wanting to get me out of the way ever since you moved to town so stay!" I felt my eyes burning with tears.

Emily looked at Sam, pretending to looked shocked. "Jackson I don't know what you're talking about. I thought we were friends?"

I scoffed. "Oh please? Cut the act."

Sam shook his head at me. "Jacks calm down okay. There's nothing going on with me and Emily. I promise." I felt my heart stop as he lied. I gripped the front of my shirt and stepped back. The tears dipping from my face.

"You.." I stuttered. "You.. You liar."

Sam took a step towards me. "Baby I'm not lying."

I wiped my face with my hands and took a deep breathe. "I can't." I shook my head, more tears following in the footsteps of the ones I had just wiped away. "I can't." I sobbed.

"Baby you can't wait?" Sam asked me as he tried to reach out and touch me. I quickly moved away from his hand and stared at him with wide eyes. "I can't be with you anymore." I said before grabbing my bags. Sam rushed towards me, trying to block me from my suitcases. "What? Jacks no." He said as he tried to get me to look in his eyes.

I grabbed my suitcases from around his legs and stood with in each hand. I stood up straight and chocked back a breathe as I looked at him. "Goodbye Samuel."

Once the words rolled off my tongue I stormed past the pair and ran towards my car. Sam was hot on my heals within seconds. "You're not serious Jackson! We can work his out." He pleaded as I put the bags in the boot of my car. I kept my head low not wanting to see his pleading eyes. That I couldn't handle. I slammed the boot door down and tried to make my way to the driver seat door but Sam stood in front of me.

I refused to meet his eyes as he held my face in his hands. "Jackson I love you. I always have. She means nothing compared to you. Nothing baby please don't leave me." He begged. I gingerly looked up at him through my tear filled eyes. By now we were both soaked and his normally spiked black hair was now hanging around his forehead. The water dripped down his beautiful features and I couldn't help myself. I reached up and put my hand at the back of his neck, pulling our lips together. The kiss was filled with desperation on his part. The desperate need for me to stay but I knew where it came from. He knew he had made a mistake and he was desperate to make it right.

As I pulled away I placed our foreheads together and let out a deep breathe. I closed my eyes and moved my hands to his, gently removing them from my face. I lifted my head and watched as he did the same. Tears where now mixing with the rain that also poured down his face. "I love you." I whispered. "But I can't stay."

Sam sobbed as I stepped away from him and opened the car door. He moved no move to stop me but watched me as I began to peel out of the driveway. As I got onto the main road I tried my hardest not to look in my rearview mirror but I couldn't help myself. I was throwing away five years of my life. Five years of happiness, laughter, love.. It was all getting thrown to the wind as I drove further away.

As I looked in the rearview mirror I watched as Sam walked into the middle of the road, watching my car get further and further away. His hands were placed behind his hand and his college hoody was so wet it clung to his body. He looked completely broken. Just like I felt.

It had been two years since that night, almost to the day. Every night since then I went to bed with the image of Sam standing in the middle of the road, completely heart broken, in my head and it didn't matter how many times I slept around or got into a new relationship nothing would erase him from my mind. I even moved to the other side of the United states and settled in a small town in Savannah. I started over. Well at least I tried to.

I got a job in a auto-shop, brought a house, made friends. I did everything I was meant to. Had a boyfriend or two. Had a one night stand or two. I tried to make up for the carefree lifestyle I missed out on when I was with Sam but nothing I did filled the hole that was now in my heart.

I held out for two years before making up the decision to go back. To maybe, somehow rebuild everything I'd thrown away that night. It wasn't an easy decision to come to I'll tell you that. It took a lot of beer and tequila shots with my closest friend, Caroline before we both came to the conclusion that this was the only logical thing to do.

And even as I drove through each state line I still felt torn. One half of me wanted Sam; the life we had, the love we shared. But another part of me feared that when I got into town I'd find out that Sam was married with kids and living this completely different life without me. Granted it had only been two years but a lot could of happened in two years.

It was around 9 o clock in the morning when I arrived at my parents old home. Sam and I decided against selling it incase I ever wanted to live somewhere else when I came of age. I had contemplated moving into the house the night I left but I knew seeing Sam around town would of been worse that not seeing him at all but I still kept the property. It was a nice three bedroom house in a nice location by the woods and it had been my family home. I had grew up in that house, my parents had made it our home and whenever I thought about selling it I couldn't. There were too many happy memories embedded in the walls.

I looked up at the house for a moment before picking up my suitcases from the boot of my car. I had moved all my belongs from Savannah earlier that week. Leaving the furniture since I knew my parents furniture hadn't been moved. All my belongs were in boxes in the hallway liked I had instructed and the furniture covers had been lifted, letting the furniture breathe for this first time in six years.

I took in the homely smell as I placed by bags on the floor. I wrapped my grey turtle neck sweater around myself as I looked at myself in the mirror where my mother had applied her lipstick so many times before.

I pictured myself six years ago. The last time I stood at this mirror. I was skinner. I had a tall but slim body. Kinda of like a swimmer's build. My blonde hair was short and spiked up and I dressed in baggy t-shirts and oversized hoodies. I couldn't imagine what Sam had saw in me. I was a goofy kid with a massive crush on an him. If that had been me I would of thought 'aw cute' not 'I want to spend the rest of my life with this goofy kid'.

I smiled at the thought. I then pictured myself the night I last was in Forks, the night I left Sam. I had bulked up since I was seventeen. I'd grown a bit too. I wasn't as tall as Sam who stood at 6 ft 3 but I was close at 6 ft. I had more of a football players build but again I wasn't as muscular as Sam who had been ripped since the first day I laid eyes on him. My hair had grown out and I used to save the sides and wear the top in a pony tail. My skin was still pale like it had been back when I was seventeen but I didn't were baggy clothes anymore. I wore clothes that fit my body properly. I was much hotter in my personal opinion.

And then I looked at myself now. There wasn't much change in two years except I was tanner from living in Savannah so long. I had grown out my facial hair so I looked more manly in a way and my hair was now at shoulder length and slightly wavy. I hadn't grown much since. And my eyes where still the same shade of brown.

I had often wondered what Sam had looked like now. This face was still fresh in my mind and on my Facebook page. I hadn't deleted all the memories that came with the end of our relationship. Nor had I deleted any of the pictures we had taken off my phone which Caroline said was me still holding on to the past which I guessed was true seeing I was now standing in the hallway of my childhood home in my hometown in the hopes of reconnecting with my ex-boyfriend/first love.

My thoughts wondered back to the night that lead to the master plan that had gotten me this far.

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><p>- <em>Two weeks ago, Savannah<em> -

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><p>It was probably just after midnight when Caroline arrived at my house with her hands full with shopping bags. It was clear to me that she had stopped off at our local 24 hour. She smiled as she walked into my kitchen and emptied the two plastic bags which consisted of two bottles of tequila, 3 lemons, salt, six bottles of beer and two bags of chips.<p>

I leaned against the door frame as she totted around my kitchen as she located my shot glasses, kitchen knife and two bowels for the chips. "Planning on having a party are we Care?" I smiled.

She casually flipped her blonde hair over her shoulder and grinned. "We're going to come up with a plan to get your long lost lover back."

I felt my heart skip a beat. "What?"

Caroline shot me a sad look and a small smile. "Its been two years of one night stands, failed relationships and you still haven't deleted those photos Jackson." I shrugged and pushed myself off the door. "That doesn't mean anything." I replied as I walked to the opposite side of the island.

Caroline sighed as she began to cut up one of the three lemons she had brought with her. "You're in denial Jackson."

I crossed my arms over my chest and sighed back at her. "I am not Caroline." She didn't look at me as she placed the chopped pieces of lemons to one side. "Yes you are Jackson Forbes. You're still in love with your long lost love."

I rolled my eyes. "He has a name you know."

"Yes I'm aware but I enjoy calling him your long lost love." She smiled. "I didn't lose him." I replied. "You're acting as if my life is an episode of the vampire diaries."

Caroline gasped. "Speaking of did you see the last episode?" She clapped her hands with a grin on her face. "I'm so glad Damon's back. Now that's a long lost love."

I rolled my eyes again. "Exactly why Sam isn't. I know where he is. I left him remember." It was Caroline's time to roll her eyes. "Yes I know. Which is why we're going to drink these tequila shots," she said as she passed one with a slice of lemon. "and drink these beers until we can think of the perfect plan in which when acted out properly leaves you happy in the arms of your one true love."

I quickly downed the shot she gave me, without the salt or lemon, and groaned. Completely ignoring Caroline exclaim the word 'hey' as she obviously wanted me to do the shot with her. "You're making my love life sound like some fairytale."

"Well I've gotta live my fairytales through someone and you're as good as it gets." She replied before downing her own shot of tequila.

I lent forward on the counter and sighed. "Well my life isn't some fairytale. If it was we wouldn't be having this conversation. I would already be living my happily ever after."

Caroline shot me another sad look as she pushed another tequila shot my way. "You just had a run in with your evil queen."

I laughed half heartedly at the reference referring to Emily Young. "More like evil bitch from the seventh circle of hell." I said bitterly as I went to down the shot Caroline had passed me mer moments ago.

Caroline smiled at me as she poured her second and my third tequila shot. "Well lets get to planning. A certain long lost love isn't going to wait forever." She said as we clinked our glasses together and downed the shots at the same time.

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><p>- Present time, Washington -<p>

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><p>I couldn't remember how many tequila shots followed but we ended up with one empty tequila bottle, three empty beer bottles and two massive hangovers. In the end we had written down what Caroline called a fool proof plan which I decided to carry out. I had nothing else to lose.<p>

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><p><strong>TO BE CONTINUED<strong>

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><p>Jackson Forbes (23) portrayed by Chase Coleman<p>

Samuel Uley (28) portrayed by Steven Strait

Helena Mattson (23) as Caroline Whitmore

Alice Greczyn (25) as Emily Young


	2. Chapter 2

**Maps**

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><p>Summary: Jackson (Chase Coleman) and Sam (Steven Strait) were happy together until one argument left Sam standing out in the rain watching Jackson's headlights disappear into the night. Two years later Jackson returns to town in hopes he can repair his relationship with Sam but is anything as simple as it seems?<p>

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><p>chapter two . the older I get - Sam's prospective -<p>

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><p>Two years had passed in the blink of an eye for me. So much had happened since that night, the night that Jackson left me. Sometimes I still think its only been a few days and he'll walk back through that door and through his arms around me telling me how much of a fool he was for letting me go or how he was stupid for thinking I could love anyone as much as I loved him..<p>

But then I remember how long its been. For the first year, even with everything going on, I honestly thought he was going to come back to me. I wished on stars, I went to church and prayed, I begged and pleaded with the world but once the anniversary of the day he left came around and I began to realise that this was it. Everyone had told me to let him go and start moving on with my life but until that day came around I had hope that he would still come back. Once that day came around I knew I had lost him for good.

It had been a year and there hadn't been a word from him. Not a letter, a phone call, a text message. And it was torture. Not hearing his voice, seeing his face. Every day felt like I was dying. I know it sounds dramatic but every day I woke up feeling like I was drowning, drowning in my heartache and nothing could stop the pain.

Not the drink. Not completely destroying my house in a fit of rage. Not screaming until my throat hurt.

Not even Emily or the news of the baby could easy my pain. It had been a mistake. Well a lot of mistakes that had resulted in her pregnancy. For the first couple months since Jackson leaving it was a way of forgetting for a moment that he had left and I was completely broken. Being with Emily made me forget. I could focus on the sound of her breathing, her moans, the feel of her body under mine instead of remembering. Our fling lasted for at least five months before being with her just made me miss Jackson more. Instead of getting distracted I began to think of how I missed the curve of his muscles as I ran my hands over his body or how his lips were much softer than the woman who now taken his spot in our bed.

Being with Emily just made me miss Jackson and the way our bodies felt when we cuddled after love making. How I enjoyed feeling his facial hair tickle my chest in the morning or how I missed waking up to his arms wrapped around my chest instead of waking up with Emily curled up on what used to being Jackson's side.

When I couldn't even distract myself with sex anymore I broke things off with Emily and thats when she told me about the baby and how she wanted us to be a happy family. Call me selfish but I begged her to get an abortion. I was a broken man, how could I raise a child in my state? A baby wasn't going to fix anything even though Emily was convinced it would. In the months that followed I didn't believe it would until the year mark came and went.

Once those 365 days passed I knew it was time to move on and if not move on at least let go. Let Jackson go like he had let me go.

He was somewhere living, while I wasn't. I was just existing.

It wasn't an easy thing to do but I finally took down all the pictures of Jackson and I and redecorated our house. I removed any trace of Jackson from what used to be our home and anything I had left of him I locked away in the attic. It didn't make me feel one hundred percent better but it was a start, I could breathe again.

After I had removed Jackson from our home and started being a more active part in Emily'd pregnancy, though by this time we only had less than 2 months until our baby would arrive. I converted my guest room into a nursery for the baby and worked out a custody agreement with Emily. By this point she understood that we would never be the picture perfect family with a white picket fence and a dog that she had wanted us to be and it was easier between us, though I could tell she was upset.

The two months passed quickly after that and our son arrived just after I had finished supplying the nursery with everything a newborn could possibly need. I had dippers, baby grows, blankets, soft toys, dummies, baby wipes, clothes for days and anything else he would need when staying with me. I was quite proud at how prepared I was for him arrival and amongst all the preparation I forgot about Jackson. Even if it was only for a moment.

My son, Kalei (pronounced Kah-LAY) John Uley was probably the most beautiful creature I had seen in the then 27 years of existence. His tanned skin, mop of the blackest hair I had ever seen and the biggest brown eyes a child could of been blessed with. He was perfect and the minute the nurses placed him in my eyes I was overwhelmed with happiness, which is what Kalei means in Hawaiian. Happiness. From the minute Kalei was born he was the first person to make me feel like everything was going to be okay. That I wasn't going to sink without Jackson. That I wasn't going to drown in my unhappiness. Holding him and hearing him breathe, watching him live made me feel alive again and it was all because of him and he wasn't even aware that he even existed yet.

In the months that followed I grew more and more attached to my son, and he to me. It had gotten so bad that he would cry no stop whenever I would drop him back at Emily's after having him for the days I was entitled to which didn't help Emily adjust to motherhood any easily. She couldn't adjust nor in a way did she want to so when Kalei was six months old, she dropped him off and signed away her rights to him. That was it. I was now his sole provider while Emily abandoned him. She remained in Forks but avoided anywhere I was known to take Kalei. Our friendship was over not that I cared. Everyone in the reservation was extremely supportive now that I was officially a single father.

Which is what leads us to present time as I sat in the living room with Kalei standing by the television, in only his nappy, listening to him mumble in his baby talk. It had been officially two years since Jackson had left as the anniversary passed only a days ago. This year though it hurt I couldn't wallow in self-pity, I had a little walking proactive 10 month old to look after. Kalei had grown into a little character in the months since he was born. He was always finding something to mess with within the house or making a mess but he was happy so I didn't care to much. He barely cried anymore. Everyone commented on how happy he was and I couldn't of been prouder of the person I had helped to create.

I smiled at him from my seat as he started to mumble "Dada". He turned at me and flashed me a dimpled smile, showing off his only four teeth at the front of his mouth. His hair had grown amazingly fast since his birth and now hung around his ears, I hadn't had the heart to cut it so I normally just through his locks into a pony tail. He had grown into his features more but his eyes remained big and brown. Everyone said he resembled me so much as a child and I couldn't say I minded.

I watched as he walked clumsily over to the couch and stood between my legs, mumbling to himself in his little baby talk. I lean forward and kissed his head before pulling him onto my lap. "What you talking about bud?"

He giggled at the sound of my voice and continued to say "Dada, dada" in which I just smiled to. 'Dada' was without a doubt his favourite word.

We sat in our own little word for a few moments before my door swung open and my best friends, Paul Lahote and Jared Cameron came running in like a pair of wild dogs, no pun intended.

"Unky!" Kalei exclaimed as he saw the pair running in. Jared and Paul both cooed over him while I looked at them both like they were nuts. It was quiet hilarious how these two grown men became such babies when it came to Kalei. "Listen take Kalei over there if you're going to do that baby talk thing. Its creepy." I laughed while Jared took Kalei from my lap and stuck his tongue out at me.

"Leave us alone Sam, we're allowed to have uncle-baby time with our nephew." Paul replied as he sat on the floor next to Kalei and Jared. I rolled my eyes and chuckled. "By all means but no baby talk. Like I said its creepy."

"No it isn't. How else are we meant to communicate with our little man here?" Jared asked before continuing to coo at Kalei who just giggled and clapped his chubby hands.

I laughed again before getting off my seat and heading into my kitchen to get three beers for the lot of us and a bottle of warm milk for Kalei. I was stood in the kitchen for less then a minute when Paul joined me. "How you doing buddy?" He asked as he leaned on the door frame.

"I'm good. Never better." I replied as I closed the fridge door with my shoulder, three beers and a bottle in my hands. "What about yourself?"

Paul shrugged carelessly. "You know same old same old. Still looking for the one and all that crap."

I chucked. "Yeah and by that you mean sleeping with every girl in the reservation." Paul shook his head as he walked over and opened his bottle of beer. "That's where you're wrong my friend. I'm not just trying to sleep with every girl in the reservation but in all of Forks as well."

I laughed and took a swing of my own beer. "You're disgusting man. I'm surprised you haven't caught anything." Paul shook his head again. "Never. I make sure Paul Jr. is well taken care of."

"More information than I needed to know Paul." I responded. Paul laughed at my response before taking another sip of his beer. I took this moment to place Kaleu's bottle in the mircowave as to warm it up.

"Did you hear about the Forbes house?" Paul asked gingerly. My heart sunk in my chest at the mention. A thousand and one thoughts began to run through my head but the one that stuck out the most is that Jackson had finally put it up for sale indicating that he was never returning to Forks. That thought made my heart hurt but my mind kept telling me it was for the best. If Jackson sold the house he would have no reason to ever come home, I would never have to see him or relive all the feelings that had finally stopped bringing me so much pain. In a way him selling the house meant closure for me. Jackson would never come back so I could finally move on. I had let go but moving on was something I hadn't managed to do.

"No can't say I have." I replied as the mircowave timer went off and I removed Kalei's slightly warmer bottle. "Why? What's happening to it?"

Paul shrugged slightly. "Not sure but you know how the Clearwater's live across the road from there?" I nodded. "Well for the past two week's Seth says there's been movers bring stuff into the house."

I nodded again and crossed my arms over my chest. "So? Maybe Jackson finally decided to sell the place? It's been empty for years." I said still hoping he had. I needed my closure.

"That's what I thought but Seth says there's been no 'for sale' sign in the yard and if there had you know you would of been the first person he told." Paul replied. He had a point but that didn't make me feel any better about the situation. "Alright so Jackson's maybe renting the place or something?" I answered.

Paul took another sip of beer. "Or he's moved back into his parents house and is currently unpacking."

My heart stopped. "What?"

"Seth saw him arrive this morning as he left for school." Paul sighed. "He was running late but he saw Jackson's car pull into the drive way."

"Maybe it was just the same make of car. You know there's probably a thousand of those cars out there. He's probably just renting-"

"Sam." Paul cut me off in mid-sentence. "Leah saw him today. He was smoking a cigarette on the porch like he used to back in the day." My eyes went wide as I felt my heart begin to race. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. If this had been over a year ago I would of been running and jumping for joy but now I felt sick. I had come so far and now Jackson was back. I didn't know how I felt about that.

Would he want me back? Was he now married with kids of his own? Or at least moving home with a boyfriend? I was scared to find out but I could already tell Paul was going to fill in the blanks.

"She says he looks like he's moving back for awhile especially with how much stuff the mover's brought with them over the last couple of weeks." He paused. "She says he looks good. Real good."

I nodded in response as I tried to imagine what he looked like now. Was he still the semi muscular young man with pale blonde hair and beautiful brown eyes or had time aged him? It had only two years but had he put on weight? Had he lost weight? Was he taller? Had he cut off all his hair? All these questions burned in my thought begging to be answered but I couldn't bring myself to say anything. I wanted to see him but at the same time I didn't.

"That's-" I coughed. I felt like I was choking on my words. I cleared my throat before continuing. "That's nice. I guess."

Paul gave me a small smile. "You wanna talk about it?"

I sighed and looked at the ground as I ran a hand through my hair. All honesty I did but I new if I did it would just reopen wounds that I was still trying to heel. That was the last thing I needed when I had Kalei to think of. He didn't need to watch on as his dad became a helpless mess again. "No. I just wanna hang out with my friends and my son, drink a beer and watch the football."

Paul smiled back at me while tipping his beer slightly in my direction. "Sounds good to me." He took another sip before walking back into the living room with Jared's untouched beer in tow. I followed behind him with my own beer and my son's bottle in each hand.

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><p>- Later that night -<p>

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><p>After putting Kalei to bed I lay awake in my own. I lay topless with only the sheets covering my lower half. I lay with one arm behind my head and the other rested above my chest. I breathed silently as I watched my ceiling. Car lights danced around on my ceiling each time one passed by my window. My mind was racing.<p>

I had pretend all afternoon that the new Paul laid on me didn't bother me but as soon as I was alone the reality kicked in and I felt as if my lungs were slowly filling with water. I was drowning again. Jackson was back.. He was back. Actually back and I couldn't believe it. Just when I had gotten used to the idea of him being gone and never coming back, here he is.

_'The universe is a funny place'_ I thought to myself before I sat up and swung my legs off my bed. I took a deep breathe as I opened the top draw of my bedside table. I hadn't opened the thing since the night Jackson left, it was too painful but I felt like tonight was as good as ever. I let out my breathe as my eyes found themselves looking at a black velvet box. I carefully picked it up from the draw and closed it before laying against the headboard, my left leg still hanging slightly off the bed while I pulled my right leg up against me. I rested an elbow top of my knee as I examined the little black box.

It was exactly the same, except for a little dust here and there. I sighed again as I opened it gingerly and laid my eyes on its content. In a bed of silk lay a band of white gold. I removed it from its bed and placed the box to aside. I had brought the ring two days before Jackson left. Paul had helped me pick it out.

I had been thinking about proposing to Jackson since our first anniversary but I knew it was too soon. So I waited. I waited to see if we would last. We had made it five years so I thought it was about time I did. I thought nothing could of come between us until Emily kissed me after I told her about the ring.

I closed my eyes at the memory, that was the moment everything fell apart and instead of telling Jackson the truth I lied. I promised him she meant nothing but he already knew. I remember how my breath caught in my chest he called me a liar. I knew he knew. I knew he knew I lied. I had never regretted something so much in my life.

I opened my eyes and stared at the white gold band I held with my fingers. It was white gold with a strip of gold in the middle. I had wanted to get Jackson a diamond but Paul reasoned with me that it would be 'too girly' especially since Jackson wasn't exactly the feminine type. So I decided on the white gold with the gold band but I asked the jeweller to engrave a message on the inside. I smiled slightly as I angled the ring so I could make out the message. 'Forever and always' call me corny but I believed it fit at the time. I knew I'd love him forever and I guess in a way it was still true. I knew beneath all my pain and the hurt I still loved Jackson and probably always would. He was my first love.

I could still remember the first time I told him that I loved him. We had been together two years before I uttered those three words..

* * *

><p>- 5 years ago, Washington -<p>

* * *

><p>Jackson had been living with me for almost half a year since his parents died and we were curled up in bed after a few hours of love making. The moon was full and it shone through our bedroom window directly on the bed making Jackson's pale skin glow slightly. His head was laying on my chest, both of us breathing heavily and covered in sweat.<p>

I lay on my back and stared at the ceiling while playing with Jackson's blonde waves. When we had first met he had his hair cut short and styled it so it was always spiked up but in the recent months he had began to grow it out. It now hung just below his ears and I enjoyed just running my hands through the blonde locks. I was perfectly content at that moment.

Jackson lifted himself up, once his breathing had gone back to normal, and rested on his elbow while facing me. I turned onto my side so I could look directly at him. He was beautiful. Like I said before, the moonlight had made his skin look like he was glowing and his sweat drenched hair hung clumsily around his face. He had a little bit of facial hair and at that moment he looked completely stunning to me.

We had been together two years now and I still hadn't said 'I love you'. I knew I did love him. I had a crush on him from the moment I saw him and once we got together I knew I was hooked. I had fallen and fallen fast which I never expected to do. I hadn't been the mushy, relationship type but that had all changed when Jackson walked into my life.

"What are you staring at?" He asked as he looked down, a light bush creeping onto his cheeks. I smile at him and get up to his eye level. "I'm staring at you." I reply.

He laughs slightly. "Why? I'm nothing special."

I shake my head and smile. "You know that's not true Jacks." I gently push a strand of hair out of his eyes. "You're beyond special."

His cheeks go redder. "Stop it." He smiles again. I smile back before gently climbing on top of him with either hand next to his head. I lean down and place a soft kiss on his lips before pulling back and grinning at him. He smiles back at me. "What?"

I look up at him, I couldn't help but smile. "I love you."

His gasped and sat up a little. "You what?" My face was next to his, our noses touching. "I love you Jackson Eli Forbes. You are the best thing that's ever happened to me." With that he closed the little gap between us and pressed his lips against mine. His hands went to my hair as he pulled me down so I was literally on top of him. Chest to chest.

He pulled away when the need for air was too strong. "You've no idea how long I've waited to year you say those words." He replied breathlessly.

I shrugged before kissing the side of his neck. "I would imagine 730 days, give or take a few." I whispered into his ear.

He shivered as I then began to suck on the lobe. "Sounds about right." He whispered back before pushing me to the side and climbing on top of me. "By the way," he said before kissing me. "I love you too." He said against my lips but before he could pull away completely I smashed our lips back together. Completely content.

* * *

><p>- Present time, Washington -<p>

* * *

><p>I ran my hand over my face before I placed the ring back into the box and placing it back into the draw. I knew at that moment I wanted Jackson back but I didn't want to go through that heart break again. If there was any chance Jackson wanted me back he would have to work for it. I wasn't going to go running into his arms like a love struck teenager.<p>

No. Jackson would have to do what I did to get him on the first place. I wanted dates, gifts, hand holding, kisses on the porch. I wanted Jackson to prove how much he wanted me back, if he did at all.

* * *

><p><strong>TO BE CONTINUED<strong>

* * *

><p>Jackson Forbes (23) portrayed by Chase Coleman<p>

Samuel Uley (28) portrayed by Steven Strait

Emily Young (25) portrayed by Alice Greczyn

Jared Cameron (26) portrayed by Bronson Pelletier

Paul Lahote (27) portrayed by Alex Meraz

Kalei Uley (10 months old)


	3. Chapter 3

**Maps**

* * *

><p>Summary: Jackson (Chase Coleman) and Sam (Steven Strait) were happy together until one argument left Sam standing out in the rain watching Jackson's headlights disappear into the night. Two years later Jackson returns to town in hopes he can repair his relationship with Sam but is anything as simple as it seems?<p>

* * *

><p>chapter three . - Jackson's perspective -<p>

* * *

><p>I had been in Forks a grand total of four days and I had barely left my house, except for the quick trip the store for food and a lot of alcohol. Caroline had called me a coward when I informed her of my lack of progress and I couldn't deny it, I was being a coward. But for a good reason. I hadn't been seen around here in two years and I was scared that everyone I had loved would hate me. I didn't exactly leave this town on the best terms and I didn't say goodbye to anyone except Sam. No one knew my plan to leave. All my friends, had been Sam's as well. If I had told them they would of told Sam and I doubt I would of been able to leave.. Everyone would of bent over backwards to make sure I stayed and at that time that was the last thing I wanted so I didn't tell anyone.<p>

So for the the past four days I had lazed around my house and slowly made it liveable again. That job wouldn't of taken so long if I hadn't of done each room in the house so slowly but it didn't help that I would start the day with a bottle of vodka and end with a bottle of jack. After my four day bender I woke up with one hell of a hangover but at least my house was finished.

I sighed as I poured myself a glass of water. I had decided that today I wouldn't get absolutely smashed. I decided today I would rejoin the community, even though I wanted to hide out for the next two weeks. It was time.

I was pretty sure everyone knew I was back in town seeing as the day before I got an invite to the LaPush bonfire, off who I don't know as the note wasn't signed but either way it was clear everyone knew I was back and at that point I knew it was time to face them all. Everyone I left, including Sam.

I didn't know if he would be there tonight, I kind of hoped he wouldn't be. I wanted to face everyone first before I had to deal with Sam. Everyone else wouldn't take as long to forgive me as Sam would. I didn't break their hearts like I broke Sam's. I sighed again before I took a gulp of water and walked into my bedroom. I had already showered and was currently walking around in just a white towel. It was already mid-afternoon, having slept the morning away since I was extremely hungover from the day before.

I placed the glass of water on my bedside table before undoing the towel which was wrapped around my waist and pulling on a pair of grey boxer shorts. I sat on my bed next to my already laid out clothes. I decided I would wear a black long sleeved t-shirt and my dark denim ripped jeans with a pair of black boots. It was a bonfire so I didn't have to dress up but I didn't feel comfortable in dressing too casually. If Sam was going to be there I did want to look at least a bit presentable. I combed my hair but decided to wear it down with it tucked behind my ears.

I looked pretty good for someone who had been on a four day bender.

I gave myself a small smile as I checked myself over in the mirror. The butterflies had began to flutter around my stomach and my heart was racing a little bit. I took a deep breath and rubbed my sweaty palms on my jeans. I couldn't believe how nervous I was getting but it was understandable why. Tonight would be the first time I could possibly see Sam and I was scared. I was scared he would hate me but I was more scared by the fact there would be a chance he would of moved on, or that he was Emily. Those thoughts made me feel even more sick. I would be shattered if that was the case. I would of left behind my life in Savannah just to return heartbroken. Again.

I let out the breath as I was holding in and grabbed my jacket. I needed to at least go to the bonfire and find out for myself. Even if Sam wasn't there I knew someone would be kind enough to fill me in on what had happened to him in the last two years. Tonight I would find out if this move had been a completely waste of time or if I had a chance of regaining what I had lost when I walked out those years ago.

I quickly pulled on my jacket as I ran down the stairs, grabbing my keys off the counter as I passed it and running out the front door. I quickly locked it behind me and walked down the porch steps to my car. As I went to open the door I looked up as a familiar face walked across the road to my driveway.

"Seth?" I asked as the face became more recognisable. "Little Seth Clearwater is that you?"

Seth smiled as he spread his arms. I laughed as I welcomed his embrace. "I can't believe it." I said in shock as we pulled away from each other. The young man in front of me smiled at me as he leaned against my car. "Believe it Jacks, I'm all grown now."

He wasn't wrong. When I had left he was just this lanky kid who hadn't grown into his features yet but now he had filled out in all the right places and looked more like a man than the kid I remembered. "Ha, I can see that." I sighed happily. "It's been a long time kid."

"That it has, most of the guys didn't believe me when I told them you were back in town. I almost thought I was imagining things when I didn't see you around." He chuckled. "I see you're living back at your parents place."

I rubbed the back of my neck and chuckled awkwardly. "Yeah, I thought it was about time someone actually used this place." Seth nodded in response. "Yeah.. Hey you going to the bonfire?" He asked.

I nodded. "Yeah I was heading there now. Do you want a lift?"

Seth smiled at me before jumping off the door he was currently leaning on. "Yeah that'd be sweet!" He exclaimed, I had forgotten how hyper this kid could be and it seemed that hadn't lessen with age. "Leah left me to walk as she had to pick up her boyfriend." He said as he walked round to the passenger side. I opened the door to the driver's seat and slid into the car. "Leah has a boyfriend? Who's the lucky guy?"

Seth did his seat belt as he replied. "Colin Littlesea."

I gasped. "No." Seth nodded, laughing as he did. "You mean little Colin Littlesea?"

"Yeah little Colin Littlesea." Seth replied. I looked straight ahead as I processed the information. Leah was about twenty-six now and Colin had to be only eighteen. I could hardly imagine Leah being involved with such a goofy kid like Colin. "You're seriously joking with me right?"

Seth shook his head as I started the car and pulled out of the drive way. "Nope. They've been together for about a year now. Colin developed into quiet a handsome young man since you left. He's taller than Leah by a few inches and he's probably as muscular as me. Leah is completely in love with the kid."

"Isn't that a bit weird?" I asked with my eyes on the road. Seth shrugged. "Not really. No one could really say anything since you and Sam so everyone's been pretty accepting."

My heart skipped a beat at the mention of Sam. I had almost forgotten about him. "Oh." I paused. "That's good then. If she's happy."

Seth looked at me, his typical cheesy grin was plastered on his face. "She is. What about you? Any new boyfriends?" He asked.

My palms got sweaty at the dreaded question. I didn't want to tell him that I had been unable to have a proper relationship since I left. I didn't want him to think that I was back for Sam even though I was. I wanted to keep my plan as hush hush as humanly possible but I also didn't want to lie. If by some chance he and Sam had become friends in the past few years I didn't want him to tell him that I had moved onto someone else.

I shrugged and kept my eyes on the road. "Not really. I've been single for most of the time I've been gone. Met a few nice guys but no one worth settling down with you know."

"Yeah kind of. I'm not gay so the guy part I can't relate to but I know what you mean. I still haven't met anyone amazing enough to settle down with." He replied. I thanked the heavens silently at the fact he didn't mention Sam. "Well you are only twenty years old Seth." I replied. "You don't need to worry about settling down any time soon."

"Yeah I know but with everyone getting married and having kids, its kinda hard not to think about." He responded as I pulled up into the parking lot which was a few minutes walk from the beach.

"I've missed weddings and babies? No way who's?" I asked as I undid my seat belt and Seth undid his. "Well my mom and Charlie Swan tied the knot, Jared and Kim are engaged. Obviously my sister and Colin are talking about settling down and starting a family soon."

I nodded as we began walking to the beach, having locked the car. "Yeah but who's popped out some babies?"

Seth chuckled nervously to himself. "Well.." He said as we walked onto the site of the bonfire. He was cut off by the sound of his name being called. "Hey look there's Jacob and Quil."

I looked up as Jacob Black and Quil Ateara had been in my class in school. They were pretty cool kids. I had become pretty close to them and their friend Embry Call when I moved in with Sam since they were friends with Sam themselves. They were around our house a lot so I gotten to know them in the years since school. Quil was the typical class clown, always making jokes and pulling pranks while Jacob sometimes reminded me of Sam. He was always practical but he was more care-free than Sam was.

Seth ran a head to meet the guys while I walked slowly behind. The butterflies in my stomach began to flutter as I got closer. The pair stopped and looked at me as I stood next to Seth. I put my jeans in pocket and smiled awkwardly.

"So the rumors are true." Jacob smirked as he looked me up and down. "You really are back."

"Clearly Jake. He is standing in front of us." Quil laughed. Jacob gave him an annoyed glance before turning back to me. "Nice to see you Jackson."

"Nice to see you too Jacob, and you Quil." I smiled. "Where's Embry?"

Quil shrugged. "Probably somewhere with his secret boyfriend."

"Secret boyfriend?" I asked.

Seth shrugged while Jacob chuckled. "You've really missed a lot you know Jacks."

I spent the next few hours being filled in on everything I had missed during the two years I had been gone. In short Embry had some secret boyfriend, Paul had become a serious man whore, Jared and Kim had gotten engaged, Leah was dating Colin, Emily had distanced herself from the group much to my surprise and Jacob had come out as Bisexual, that which I didn't see coming.

I had surprisingly not missed that much but the thing about Emily had shocked me, however when I asked for detailed on why she had distanced herself from the group no one could give me a proper answer. I knew in my gut it had something to do with Sam but I couldn't place what it could of been. I didn't get long enough to ponder over the possible reasons for her departure as Leah and Colin had joined our group and I spent some time catching up with Leah, who in the previous years had become the big sister I never really had.

It was heart warming to see how in love she was. Back in the day she was known for being quiet the bitch. She was rude, brutally honest and very sassy. You could either like it or lump it when it came to Leah but now it seemed being with Colin had turned her into a nicer person. She was still brutally honest, having calling me a coward for running out on my problems, but she was a lot nicer about it then she would of been two years ago. Colin was a pretty decent guy too. I didn't really hang out with him when I lived in Forks previously as he was just a little kid to me but now he was apart of the group, as I had once been.

It had been a couple hours since we arrived and the sun had gone down. I was sitting by the bonfire with Jacob and Quil on each side. Embry had joined the gang a few moments before and sat next to Seth. Others had joined the group until the beach was full of different people of all ages from the reservation. Some I knew and others I didn't but still no sign of him.

I sipped my beer as I watched the flames dance. I had removed my jacket as I was sitting next to a blazing hot fire. Jacob and Quil were talking about something or other, I had zoned out not long after I was greeted by Embry. I couldn't help but be distracted.

My mind was a million miles away as I thought about Sam. When we had been dating we had always gone to every bonfire, he loved them and I did too. It was a regular thing for us so I couldn't understand why he wasn't here. I was thankful I got to reconnect with my friends but they weren't the reason I was here. As selfish as that was it was the truth.

I sighed as I took another sip of my beer. Suddenly I heard something that made me turn my head. It was a laugh. I was currently facing the ocean so I turned my head to the path from the parking lot to the beach. My heart stopped.

There he was.

Sam.

I couldn't breath. I felt like my eyes were going to pop out of my sulk as I watched him walk down the path with Jared and Paul on either side. The three were laughing at something or other. 'He looks so happy' I thought as I continued to watch him. Thankfully I was a bit of a way from the path so I knew Sam wouldn't notice me unless he looked for me. I did stick out a bit with my blonde hair in a crowd of raven black hair with a few brunette's thrown about here and there.

As they approached the beach I quickly tore my eyes away and took another sip of my beer. My palms were completely soaked with sweat and my heart was racing. I took a deep breath to calm my nerves, thankfully no one had noticed Sam's arrival. I wiped my hands on my jeans before I stood up. I needed some space. I walked quickly away from the group.

"Hey Jackson where are you going?"

I stopped in my tracks as Jacob shouted my name across all the noise. I turned and mustered a smile. "Just going for a walk. Back in a few." I tried not to look in Sam's direction but I knew it was too late. I could feel three sets of eyes burning holes in my back as I walked down the more rocky part of the beach.

I was going to have a panic attack. My heart continued to beat at a hundred miles an hour in my chest. I leaned against a massive rock as I took deep breathes, trying to calm myself.

"I'm surprised you're so nervous." I jumped at the unexpected sound of his voice. I swear my heart stopped as I laid my eyes on him. There he was. Standing in front of me in light denim jeans, a white t-shirt and a red checkered flannel shirt. "Long time Jacks." He said in his smooth voice. He put his hands in his pockets as he looked directly at me. His eyes showing nothing to pin point on how he felt.

"Sam." I replied. My throat felt dry.

"What are you doing here Jackson?" He asked as he continued to stare at me. It was almost as if he couldn't believe I was actually there, just like I couldn't believe he was actually there in front of me.

"I thought it was about time I came home." I said, trying my hardest to avoid his eyes. Sam nodded and laughed bitterly, still never taking his eyes off me. "Why? Why after all this time?"

"Because -" I paused. I didn't want to tell him he was the reason even though he was. I had waited so long for this moment and I knew it wasn't going to end with me jumping into Sam's arms.

"Because?" He questioned. I shrugged and sighed. "Because starting over wasn't as easy as I hoped it to be. I missed home, I missed my life here, I missed-" I cut myself off again. He didn't need to here that.

"You mean you missed our life here?" Sam questioned. "You missed me?"

"What makes you think that?" I asked. Sam smiled slightly to himself and looked at the sand before looking at me again. "Because you wouldn't of run away when you saw me if you didn't still love me."

"Maybe I wanted to avoid an awkward situation?" I argued. Sam smirked. "I know you better than that Jackson. You're hardly the person to run away from a fight."

I scoffed and rolled my eyes. "Yeah just the type to run away after a fight right?"

Sam sighed. "Yeah well that's in the past right?"

I rubbed the back of my neck, awkwardly. "Yeah it is." Sam nodded. The air between us filled with the awkwardness we both felt. We stood in silence for a few moments before Sam moved towards me and wrapped his arms around me. I stood there unable to return the hug. I was frozen in shock.

"It's good to see you Jackson." He whispered in my ear as he held me. I couldn't help but feel tears well in my eyes. "It's good to see you too Sam." I sobbed. Sam pulled away and held my face with his hands. He own eyes had filled with tears of his own. "I'm sorry."

"So am I." I responded as I stared into his brown orbs. I could see the love there. I could see the regret. I could see the hope and I knew that's what he saw in my own eyes as he stared back at me.

"You have nothing to be sorry for Jackson." He replied as he rested his forehead against mine and closed his eyes. "You didn't lie or cheat."

"But I left." I whispered. "I shouldn't of left."

"You did what you thought was best for you." He answered. "I should of tried harder to get you to stay."

"I should of stayed." I sobbed, the tears finally falling down my face.

Sam slowly removed his forehead from mine and took a step away from me. "But you didn't. What's done is done."

I stepped towards him and felt my heart shatter as he took another step away. I looked down at the ground. "But I'm here now. We can fix things."

Sam turned away from me and shook his head. "No we can't."

My head snapped back up and I ran towards him grabbing his arm with one hand and using the other to get his face to face mine. He refused to look at me as tears rolled down his own cheeks. "Yes we can. We need to start again. We need to -"

"I had a baby with Emily." Sam cut me off. As the words left his mouth I felt my heart shatter in my chest along with any hope I had. I felt like I had on the night I had left. I felt betrayed. I slowly let go of his arm and face. More tears welled in my eyes as I looked at the ground. I could hear Sam sob as tears fell down his cheeks. I could feel his eyes on me as I stepped away from him.

"It was an accident. I was so broken when you left and being with her was the only way to numb the pain. But it didn't last. Missing you was too painful. Nothing would numb the pain." Sam explained. I continued to stare at the ground. "That's when Emily told me she was pregnant."

The tears flowed down my face at this point. Sam took a deep breath as more tears flowed down his face as well. "I hadn't meant for it to happen but I'm so glad it did. I have a son and I adore him completely."

I felt my heart break again. He sounded so happy when he spoke about his son. His son with _her._ A son that I would of never been able to give him if we had stayed together. We wouldn't of been able to have biological babies. we would of had to adopt and take in a normal baby and there would be no-one to carry on the Uley name or werwolf gene. It would of had to end with Sam but not now. Now he had a son.

"He brought me back to life when you left." Sam whispered.

I nodded as I wiped my tears. "That's great." I mumbled. "I'm glad you and Emily worked out. I really am." I said as I began to walk past him. He tried to grab my arm but I shrugged him off. "No Jackson please wait and let me explain."

"No Sam." I exclaimed. "I've heard enough." At that moment I turned away from him and ran to my car. Passing everyone, not caring who saw me or called after me. I just ran. I ran straight to my car and drove. I knew deep down coming back here was a mistake and tonight made it clear.

I needed to go back to Savannah. I needed to get away from whatever false hoped this place gave me. I needed to get away from Sam and his picture perfect family. I just needed to stop loving him.

* * *

><p><strong>TO BE CONTINUED<strong>

* * *

><p>Jackson Forbes (23) portrayed by Chase Coleman<p>

Seth Clearwater (20) portrayed by Boo Boo Stewart

Jacob Black (23) portrayed by Taylor Lautner

Quil Ateara V (23) portrayed by Tyson Houseman

Leah Clearwater (26) portrayed by Julia Jones

Colin Littlesea (18) portrayed by Beau Mirchoff

Samuel Uley (28) portrayed by Steven Strait

Jared Cameron (26) portrayed by Bronson Pelletier

Paul Lahote (27) portrayed by Alex Meraz


	4. Chapter 4

**Maps**

* * *

><p>Summary: Jackson (Chase Coleman) and Sam (Steven Strait) were happy together until one argument left Sam standing out in the rain watching Jackson's headlights disappear into the night. Two years later Jackson returns to town in hopes he can repair his relationship with Sam but is anything as simple as it seems?<p>

* * *

><p>chapter four . salvation<p>

- Sam's perspective -

* * *

><p>I sucked in a deep breath through gritted teeth as I watched Jackson disappear into the night. He'd gotten better at running away since I last saw him. The kid was practically a professional now. I shook my head at my thoughts. The tears had long dried on my face by the time I rejoined my friends by the bonfire. Everyone stared at me awkwardly as I dropped to the ground and grabbed a beer from the nearest ice cooler.<p>

"What?" I snapped when I finally had enough of the sympathetic looks everyone kept sending my way. "So what he ran away? He's good at that." I said bitterly before taking a swing of beer. Paul shook his head at me as he dropped to the ground next to me. "So I'm guessing he didn't take the news well."

"No shit sherlock." I muttered before taking another sip of beer. I planned to be very drunk by the end of this conversation.

"So what now?" Paul asked. I shrugged while taking another sip of beer.

"Come on Sam, you know this isn't the end. We don't live in that type of world." Paul scoffed. I rolled my eyes at him. "Again, no shit sherlock."

Paul sighed as he lay back in the sand, resting on his elbow. "Sam seriously, what are you going to do?"

I looked back at Paul with an annoyed look on my face. I felt my blood become hot in my veins. "Me?" I snapped. "Why must I be the one to do anything? He's the one who left in the first place."

"Yeah and your the one who kissed Emily in the first place." Paul replied. I stared at him in shook. Now that was a slap in the face. I shook my head as I began to stutter on my words. "What? You know that isn't true Paul!" I exclaimed. "Yes it is and we both know it." Paul answered as he moved back into sitting position.

"Listen Sam," he continued "we both know when Emily kissed you the right thing to do would of been to cut her off and tell Jackson the truth but _you_ wanted to believe that it was just a silly crush. That she would get over it and that Jackson shouldn't know as it would mess with the friendship between the pair and look how that played out." I stared at Paul with wide eyes as he continued on his hardly up lifting rant. "_You_ ended up lying right to Jackson's face and to make matters worse spent the next year banging the girl that caused you guys all the drama in the first place and_ you_ got her pregnant."

"So you're basically saying this is all my fault?" I spat. Paul shook his head and let out a long breath through his nose. "No, Jackson made some mistakes as well but you aren't completely blameless here Sam."

"So what am I meant to do?" I shouted. "Go to his door and beg for forgiveness? Pretend that me and Emily never happened for him?"

"No!" Paul shouted back. He groaned in frustration before pushing himself off the ground. "Maybe you should just take responsibilities for your mistakes and stop acting as if Jackson has no reason to think the worse. Jesus Sam! Jackson adored you and you threw it back in face and it doesn't take a damn genius to know he came back here for you only to find out you had a baby with the same girl he knew was after you in the first place."

"What are you saying?" I asked as I looked up at Paul from my seat on the ground. Paul huffed and rubbed his forehead before responding. "I'm saying maybe you should think about how much it hurt him to leave in the first place just to return and get a slap in the face? Of course the kid is going to run away when you keep giving him reasons too. You need to get your head out of your ass and realise just like he's got to work to get you back, you need to work to regain his trust."

I sighed heavily as I watched Paul walk towards his car. I didn't want to admit it that he was right. I just wanted to believe that Jackson was the problem. THat Jackson was the reason for my pain. I didn't want to admit that I had played a part in my own downfall. No one would.

* * *

><p>- Jackson's perspective -<p>

* * *

><p>After the bonfire I returned home. Well to the house I had once called home. After Sam broke the news to me nothing felt like it was meant to. This house was just a house. Not even the memories embedded in the walls made me feel at like I belonged. I sobbed as I slowly slid down my bedroom door onto the floor. I sat with my back against the door, with my knee's pushed up against my chest. I wrapped my arms around my legs as I let my hair fall around my face, the tears continued to run races down my cheeks.<p>

I felt shattered. Everything I had hoped for had been ripped away from me in a matter of moments. The words _'I had a baby with Emily'_ echoed in the dark corners of my mind. I couldn't believe it. I didn't want to believe it but he looked me right in the eye and told me the truth. After everything I went through last time with the kiss and he saw she meant nothing but she obviously meant enough to create life with right?

Maybe I was over-thinking things? Maybe Emily really was just a way to numb the pain like Sam said? Maybe I shouldn't of walked out before he had a chance to explain things properly? But what if he was going to tell me how the baby changed things for him and now they were happily married?

I chocked back a sob as I rested my head against the door. My brain hurt, my chest hurt, my eyes hurt. My whole body ached. I was tired, nit just emotionally but physically. I had forgotten how much my love for Sam took a toll of my body. He could make me feel things, feel emotions, that I didn't know existed and once I had a little taste I needed more. It was like a drug. Sam was my drug and now I was a recovering junkie going through withdrawals.

Had this really what my life came too? I was now having to ween myself off a man like he was cocaine. I laughed dryly at the thought. I truly was a junkie and Sam was my fix. It always had been that way even when we were younger. Sam was my everything and everyone knew it. I knew my parents didn't think it was healthy but I didn't care what they thought even though when I look back on it now I wished I had but they died before they could show me how much my life revolved around Sam.

And after they died I didn't have anyone else. Sam literally became my everything. He was the sun, the moon, the stars and everything in between. I didn't want to live without him after I lost my parents died. I loved him so much but look where that got me.

Even after all this time he still had that power over me. The power to turn a grown man into a heartbroken teenager pining over their first love.

I took a deep breath as I wiped my eyes with the backs of my hands before I gently began to lift myself up off the floor. My legs began shaking as I did. I sobbed again as I dragged myself over to my bed, not caring about my sand covered clothes as I dropped onto the mattress and wrapped myself up in the sheets.

I didn't know what I was going to do. I knew I couldn't return to Savannah. I had out grown it. It had served its purpose and now I could either stay here or move on. I had thought about sticking around even if my plan didn't work while I was in the process of moving here in the first place. Forks was my home after all. I grew up here, I had roots here, memories. I shouldn't leave it all behind just because of Sam.

But then again that was the perfect reason to leave it behind. How would I ever move on when my first love was still within walking distance? It was practical. I wouldn't be able to find someone new without fearing that Sam would decide he wanted me back and ruin everything but then again I couldn't keep running away.

I ran away from my problems two years ago and where did that lead me? I made a life in Savannah but I stilled ended up back in Forks. Maybe this whole experience was a sign that even though it wasn't meant to be with Sam, that I was still meant to be in Forks. I knew the reason I came back was Sam but maybe he wasn't the reason I stayed. I deserved to make a life for myself here just like my parents had. Maybe even go to college like they had always wanted me too.

I sniffled as I sat up against my pillow and turned to my bedside table. On it was a picture frame and the frame held a family portrait that had been taken when I was around two years old.

My parents had met in high school and been best friends before they went to separate colleges, two hundred miles away from each other. My father, Aden Forbes went on to become a sports writer, his job took him all over the united states while my mother, Lucy Labonair became a nurse and returned home once graduating. A couple years since graduating, Dad had returned back to Forks when his car was run off the road and Mom was the nurse to take care of him. It was fate. Or so I believed. They were meant to meet again and fate is what brought them together.

From that moment on they were completely smitten with each other and the rest is history. They got married and had me a few years later.

I smiled slightly at the picture. My other sat with me on her lap. She was in my eyes the most beautiful woman to ever walk the earth. She had beautiful long blonde hair, pale skin but with rosy cheeks and a smile that couldn't help being stared at. Everyone said I looked like her as I had her eyes. Her 'big brown bambi eyes' as my father had called them when I was a child.

My father on the other hand was the complete opposite of my mother, where she had pale skin his was tanned. Where she had blonde hair, his was brown. Where she had brown eyes, his were green. But everything about him, when I looked at the picture now, was me. I looked exactly like he did when the picture was taken except I had my others eyes and hair colour. He stood behind my mother, in the picture, with his hand resting gently on her shoulder while he sported a huge smile much like my own two year old, gap tooth smiled.

I ran a finger gently over the glass that covered the picture. God I missed them. Everyday I wished I could send just another moment with them. Before Sam came along, they had been the sun, the moon, the stars and everything in between to me. They were my world and if it wasn't for Sam I knew my world would of shattered when they died.

I sadly tore my eyes away from the picture and lay on my back so that I was staring at the ceiling. My parents had always wanted me to make the most of my life. I knew at that moment I wouldn't be able to that if I kept running away from things when they got tough. I needed to accept that me and Sam were over. For good, who knows? But as of right now I couldn't run back to Savannah or to another southern state with my tail between my legs, no pun intended.

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><p>The next morning I awoke to the sound of someone banging their fist against my door. I groaned in annoyance as I threw the sheets off my body. I had fallen asleep in the clothes that I'd wore to the bonfire so I didn't have to worry about being indecent. I muttered curses to myself as I stumbled down the stairs. "What?" I snapped as I pulled the door open, half expecting to see Sam standing on my porch.<p>

Instead stood Paul Meraz, Sam's best friend, in ripped jeans and a white long sleeved t-shirt. I stared at him in confusion. "What the are you doing here Paul?" I asked as I slumped against the doorframe. Paul smirked at me before walking past me into the house. "I like what you've done with the place."

"Yeah, sure. Come on in." I glared at the man's back as he looked around my parents home from the hallway.

"I haven't been inside these walls since we were kids." He mused as he turned back to me and smiled. "How have you been Jacks?"

I rolled my eyes at him as I closed the front door. "Like you don't know. I'm sure Sam told you all about are domestics on the beach yesterday." I muttered, walking past the intruder and into my kitchen. Paul followed in suit.

"Yeah. If it makes you feel any better you guys are talk of the reservation." Paul laughed as he took a seat at the dining table that was in the middle of my parent's kitchen. I glared at him as I poured myself a glass of water. "What no drinks for your guests?" Paul asked, the cocky arrogant attitude I remembered coming to the surface.

"You've been inside these walls more times then I can count Paul. You are hardly a guest. Get it yourself." I replied bitterly.

Paul smiled to himself while he removed himself from the chair and wandered over to where I was stood. He smirked at me and leaned in "Yeah and we had some good times back then didn't we."

I felt my face get hot. "No we didn't." I quickly shoved him away from me and walked towards the sink. "We were stupid kids Paul. You should of known better, you were four years older than me."

Paul stood behind me at the counter and I could feel the smirk that plastered on his face. "Yeah but it was fun while it lasted right. I taught you everything _you know_."

I scoffed. "Are you sure? I think Sam had a lot to do with everything _I know_."

Paul growled as he moved away from me and leaned against the counter opposite the fridge. I turned to him and smiled. "Still playing the _'oh so loyal best friend'_ are we?"

"I still don't understand why you choose him." He said dryly while glaring at me. I sighed and touch my forehead. "We're not going through this again Paul."

Paul jumped away from the counter and stood inches away from me. He stood a few inches taller than me so I had to look up at him, much like what I had to do with Sam. "I've done everything you asked of me Jackson. I let you be with Sam. One because I knew how much he cared about you and two because I had already had my fun with you." With that I shoved him into the counter, my blood boiling.

He smirked again. "I kept our dirty little secret even though I wanted you back. I did everything I was asked of just so you and Sam could live happily and look what happened. He cheated."

I ran a hand through my hair and sighed. "I don't need a reminder Paul. I'm well aware of everything that has happened in my life." I spat back bitterly.

"Then why did you come back for him?" Paul stared at me with his eyes wide. "He's the one who lied and cheated. He's got a baby with Emily for christ sake."

"I know Paul!" I exclaimed, knocking my glass of water to the floor. I watched as the glass shattered into a million pieces before chocking back a sob. I felt like such a emotional wreck. I hadn't cried this much in years yet I couldn't help it. I always thought I was such a strong man but when it came to Sam I was just a weak child. I placed both of my hands on my head and turned to the side. Paul was quickly at my side forcing me, gently, to look at him. "I'm sorry Jacks, I'm sorry ok.. I truly am."

I felt the tears well in my eyes as he pulled me into his embrace. My hands that where still by my head now grabbed onto Paul's t-shirt as I sobbed into his chest. Paul sighed as he rested his head against mine and held onto my shaking frame. "I'm sorry Jacks." He repeated while I continued to sob.

See, Paul had always been sort of a big brother figure while I was growing up. Our parents had been pretty good friends and when Paul's dad abandoned his mom, my dad stepped in as Paul's father figure. Before I met Sam, Paul was the guy I thought about the most. Back then I thought when I was older we would get married like our parents had joked about once before but they knew Paul was heterosexual while back then they were unsure about my sexuality.

So for many years I put the idea of me and Paul to bed. He was just the big brother I never had and it stayed that way until I turned fifteen. It wasn't planned or anything and still to this day I don't believe it really happened but one night, a few weeks after my fifteenth birthday, Paul was looking after me while my parents were away when we kissed. I don't remember why we did but we had been staring at each other and it just happened. Once it did I completely freaked out and ran to my room where I stayed for a few hours until Paul finally knocked on my door.

I was in two minds about letting him in but I did and once that door opened, and I saw him, we were all over each other. I lost my virginity that night and that was the start of something I didn't tell a soul about, not even Sam. Back then I was scared that if Sam knew that I had lost my virginity to his best friend he wouldn't want me. I was very fickle in my younger days.

Anyways after that night Paul and I spent many nights together, tangled in the sheets until the day he introduced me to Sam. Once I met Sam it was all over. Sure we continued to fool around for a little while but once Sam expressed to Paul how much he wanted things to get serious between us Paul removed himself from equation. I was so wrapped up in Sam that I didn't even care that Paul had stopped calling or showing up at my window for a late night romp. I was just glad I had Sam and that Paul didn't tell him about us.

After that Paul and I drifted apart but he still kept our secret and we never spoke of it again. Not until many years later but by then I was completely dedicated to Sam and our lives together while Paul had earned the title of the Reservation's resident man whore. Things were never the same between us but back then I didn't even mind. I was so hooked on Sam I didn't care about the friends I lost.

I sobbed again before pulling away from Paul slowly. I quickly turned away from him as I used my t-shirt as a tissue. I felt Paul's eyes burn holes in the back of my head. "You know you deserve better right?"

I sighed as he continued. "Someone who treats you like a king. Someone who wouldn't hurt you. Not now or ever." I chuckled to myself as I turned back to Paul and leaned against the dining table. "And where am I going to find such a great guy huh? I still hung up on Sam, Paul. I love him and as much as I know I shouldn't I do."

Paul sighed and shook his head. "I know you do. I don't need to be reminded." He didn't look at me as he left the kitchen. I felt my heart sink as I watched him walk out the door knowing that it was my fault. I groaned again as I placed my hands over my eyes. _'When will things start going right?'_ I thought to myself.

* * *

><p><strong>TO BE CONTINUED<strong>

* * *

><p>Samuel Uley (28) portrayed by Steven Strait<p>

Paul Lahote (27) portrayed by Alex Meraz

Jackson Forbes (23) portrayed by Chase Coleman

Aden Forbes portrayed by Lloyd Owen

Lucy Labonair portrayed by Gwyneth Paltrow


	5. Chapter 5

**Maps**

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><p>Summary: Jackson (Chase Coleman) and Sam (Steven Strait) were happy together until one argument left Sam standing out in the rain watching Jackson's headlights disappear into the night. Two years later Jackson returns to town in hopes he can repair his relationship with Sam but is anything as simple as it seems?<p>

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><p>chapter five . used to be<p>

* * *

><p>It had been a couple days since my run in with Sam and it was safe to say I had completely avoided the reservation. I didn't want to run into Sam or Paul for that matter. I kept myself within the Forks area while attempting to get my life back together. I found a job at a garage in town and even managed to completely move back into my parents house. I was on track.<p>

Caroline was extremely proud of me even though our plan of me getting Sam back had been thrown out of the window. I refused to compete with a baby and especially if the mother of said baby was Emily. I didn't want to ruin a happy family. I knew no matter what that baby would mean more to Sam than any past relationship he had had. Didn't mean it still didn't hurt though. Through I had began to get my life back together I couldn't help but still feel so lost. I'd just had my heartbroken again and then have a past fling comfort me but I felt that Paul didn't mean to just be a friend when he did so.

I had told Caroline of what happened between me and Paul and she said maybe it was time I let Paul in and spark up a relationship like we had failed to do so many years ago. I had contemplated the idea but I was still too broken to let someone in even if it was to help me get over Sam. Sure me and Paul had a history but he was also Sam's best friend and he had become known for sleeping with anything with two legs. How would anyone take our relationship seriously when I was dating someone known for not believing in commitment? Or even having been in a committed relationship before?

I'd be the laughing stock of Forks, not that I cared what people thought but still it wouldn't exactly be the best idea to spark up a romance with Paul Lahote.

Caroline understood that. She also understood my need to stay. I needed to start my life again and that wouldn't happen if I started over. Sure I'd be able to re-create myself but it would be a lie. Right now I needed to re-start my old life, the only difference that I wouldn't be starting it with Sam. I'd be starting a life by myself. I'd be Jackson Forbes, not 'Sam Uley's boyfriend' and to be honest I liked the sound of being Jackson Forbes again.

I smiled to myself as I stood in my kitchen with a cup of coffee in my hands. I was finally feeling better. It still hurt but in a way I guess it was closure. I could move on now. I could maybe even learn to love again, not trying to sound corny but it was a possibility now. I wasn't planning on rushing into anything but at least I knew it was an option now.

I continued to smile as I placed my now empty mug into the sink before proceeding to head towards the door. I was dressed in simple grey sweat pants and a grey hoodie for my run. I hadn't gone for a run since before I moved here and to be honest I began to miss it. I just felt so free when I was running and now that I was feeling better I guess it was time to get back into old habits. I grinned at my reflection before I grabbed my keys and headed out the door.

I looked up at the clouds as I shut the door behind me. It was a cloudy day but the sky was still bright as the sun tried to peak out from behind the grey clouds that blocked it from our sights. It hadn't rained today which was good and it wasn't that cold. It was in definition regards to Forks, a nice day and I was thankful for it. I breathed in everything around me as I began my journey to the first beach. I hadn't set foot there since what happened with Sam but I knew there was no point in avoiding it forever. Forks was now my home and even though certain parts brought bad memories with them didn't mean I should limit myself to the places where I have good memories. I would be limiting to myself to my bedroom alone.

I listened to the sounds of my breathing as I ran at a steady pace to the beach. I ignored the world around me as I did so. I just focused on the sound of my breathing and the path in front of me. I was so caught up I didn't even see or hear the football flying towards me. I went flying into the water with impact. With an 'omph' I found face down into the sand. I groaned and held my side where the ball had hit me. It felt like the wind had been knocked out of my lungs. My eyes began to water as I rolled onto my side. I didn't play football in high school so I had never first handedly been hit with a football before but did it hurt. 'Is it meant to hurt this bad?' I thought as I stared at the sky, ignoring the person who had appeared at my side.

He was kneeling next to me in the sand and as far as I could see through my tear filled eyes, he was topless. "God Jackson, I'm so sorry." He said repeatedly. I blinked away the tears and waited for the air to return to my lungs before I could make focus of his face.

Paul.

I rolled my eyes as I moved to sit up even though my side begged me to stay where I was. "Woah, don't move." Paul exclaimed. "You could be seriously hurt."

I chuckled to myself as I slowly stood up. "I'm not the same fragile kid I once was Paul, I can handle being hit with a football." Paul nodded in response, not taking his eyes off my side. "Yeah I know but still you were hit pretty hard."

"I'll survive." I replied as I began to gingerly walk away. I got a step away when Paul grabbed my arm as gently as he could. "Hey, wait. Let me buy you a coffee?" I stared at him, waiting for him to continue. "As a way to say I'm sorry about hitting you with a football and for the other day."

I mentally cringed as the thought of the other days events passed through my mind. "I don't know Paul."

"Come on. Please it'll be completely platonic. No strings attached." He argued. I gave him a small smile before letting out a deep breath. "Fine. Sure. Why not?"

"Great. My truck is parked up by the path." He grinned as he began leading the way to his truck. I slowly followed, keeping my movements to a minimal as my side still stung a little.

We sat in silence in Paul's truck as we drove into Forks. I tried to make it not feel awkward but failed. I couldn't help but let the tension between us fill the air in waves and I know Paul could feel it as well. The drive was far from comfortable.

I almost felt like making a run for it when we pulled up at Sue's diner but I knew that wouldn't solve our problems, though it sounded like a good idea. Paul gave me a awkward smile as we sat in a booth at Sue's diner. He placed his hands on the table and took a deep breath. "So.." He laughed. "This isn't awkward right?"

I laughed. "Not at all."

Paul pretended to wipe sweat from his brow and chuckled. I couldn't help but smile back. With one silly joke Paul had changed to ease the tension. Sure things weren't ideal but at least I didn't feel like bolting now. Paul gave me another smile as he looked away and looked back at me. "I just wanted to say I'm sorry again Jacks. About today and the other day. I just want things to maybe smooth out between us."

"I'd like that Paul." I replied honestly. I hadn't realised in the years of being with Sam but now, void of Sam's attachment, I remembered the reason I liked Paul so much. He was actually fun to be around. He made me smile.

"Good, cause in all honestly I missed our friendship." He admitted. "And I'm not talking about when we started you know what. I'm talking about before all that started. When we were kids. I haven't had a friendship like that in awhile and now that I'm older I kind of wish I didn't let our relationship with Sam effect the relationship we had before then you know?"

"It's not your fault. You're not the only person to blame. I didn't exactly try to maintain our relationship once Sam came into the picture. I was a bit selfish." I admitted too. Seeing as he was being honest it was only right I returned the favour.

"Yeah I guess we were both in the wrong. I was too proud and you were selfish." I nodded in agreement as he continued. "But I hope we can put that behind us Jackson." He paused. "I know you don't want a relationship with me.."

"Paul" I sighed.

"But," he said, cutting me off. " I know you _need_ a friend and I want to be that friend Jacks." I smiled at him as I studied his features. I couldn't see any reason not to believe him. His eyes just shown with sincerity. "I'd really like that Paul. I haven't got much friends right now."

Paul chuckled. "I noticed but its kinda hard for people to maintain relationships with people when they move half way across the country in the middle of the night." He joked. I pretended to be hurt and gasped. "Low blow Lahote." He laughed as he played with his chin hair. "Don't hate the truth Frobes." I couldn't help but laugh at his remarks.

We stayed in the diner for at least a couple of hours. We talked, we laughed, we had a meal together and to be honest I hadn't had such a good time with a friend in so long. Sure I had Caroline but she was good for late night conversations about lost loves and getting drunk at 1pm on a wednesday but sitting in the diner with Paul was different. It made me feel like I hadn't been a complete wreck only a few hours before hand.

There wasn't any romantic feelings there but I couldn't help but see why I had been attracted to Paul in the first place. Not only was he good looking but he was real. He didn't sugar coat anything to spare someones feelings. If he felt something he would say it aloud and you wouldn't have to question if he meant it. He was a rare soul in a world full of duplicates.

For a couple hours he made me forget about my issues with Sam. I forgot about the numbness in my heart and I could just relax. I didn't feel on edge because in that time I actually forgot Sam existed. I didn't worry that he would walk in with Emily and the baby because I forgot they even still lived in Forks.

"Thanks for today." I said as we walked out of the diner into the cool evening air. Paul smiled at me before leading the way back to where he parked the jeep. "It's no problem. No need to thank me."

I smiled at him from the passenger side before jumping in.

* * *

><p>- Later -<p>

* * *

><p>After Paul dropped me home I spent the evening watching movies and eating popcorn with a beer before deciding to hit the hay. I had barely jumped into bed when I heard someone banging on the door. I rolled my eyes as I jogged down the stairs to open the door. The only person I could think to be banging on my door at these times had been Paul. I couldn't imagine what he would be doing at my house after dropping me off only hours before that present moment.<p>

"Paul what do you-" I stopped mid-sentence once the door was completely open. The smile went from my face as I stared at the black eyes standing on my porch. His blank expression quickly turned to confusion. "Paul was here?" He questioned.

I quickly snapped out of my daze and cleared my throat awkwardly. "What do you want Sam?" I asked. He looked at me from sniffing the air. He growled before pushing the door open and walking past me into my house. "We need to talk." He growled.

I stood in my hallway, topless, glaring at the man that now stood in said hallway sniffing the air. I grumbled to myself as I slammed the door behind me. "What do you think you're doing?" I snapped. "You can't just storm in here you know."

Sam turned to face me. "Paul was here."

"Yeah so?" I questioned. Moments after the words left my mouth I found myself pressed up against the wall. Sam glaring at me, his nostrils flaring as he breathed heavily. "Why was he here?"

"Why do you care?" I challenged as I tried to push him off me. I wasn't about to be man handled by my ex-boyfriend.

"Because he's my friend and you're my.." he paused. "my.."

"You're what?" I shouted. "I'm nothing to you anymore Sam. I'm your ex now. You have no control over who comes into my home, into my bed or any part of me."

Sam growled again as he shoved me back into the wall before letting go. The wind was knocked out of my lungs for a moment as I fell on all fours onto the floor. Sam groaned in anger as he punched a hole into the wall.

I stared up at him from my position on the floor. "Have you lost your damn mind!" I shouted. I couldn't understand why he was so angry. He had Emily, he had their baby. Why did he care that Paul was hanging around me? It didn't make any sense. Sam didn't answer me. He just glared at the hole he had created in my wall.

"He shouldn't be around you." He finally said, breaking the silence, moments later.

I rolled my eyes as I used the wall to help me to my feet. "And why the hell not?" I glared at Sam, who now stood a few feet in front of me. "He's my friend as well as yours and you have your baby and _Emily, _so why do you give a shit?"

Sam looked at me with a shocked expression on my face. "I do not have Emily. Emily hasn't been apart of my life since our son was a few months old." I stared back in equal shock. "What?"

"That's what I was trying to tell you before you ran off." He continued. "It's just me and my son. There's no Emily."

"Why are you telling me this?" I asked, changing my shocked expression back to the glare that I had held on my face a few moments before. "Do you think this will change anything?"

"I-I-I I don-" Sam stuttered. "I don't know but it should!"

I scoffed at him before running a hand through my blonde locks. "You're kidding me right? I left and instead of coming after me you slept with _her_? Her!" I exclaimed. "Of all people you slept with Emily, after you knew how I felt and then you got her pregnant!"

"Are you asking me to take back what I did?" Sam asked in response. "Because I won't. I love my son and I don't regret the choices I made."

I rolled my eyes as he finished talking and walked towards my front door. "I'm not asking you too but then I don't regret my decision to leave either. Get out Sam." I gestured to the door. Sam narrowed his eyes at me. "Seriously? Stop acting like a child Jackson."

"I'm not acting like a child Samuel." I snapped. "I came back here hoping to pick off where we left off but you threw any chance of that ever happening when you slept with Emily, regardless if she got pregnant or not."

Sam took a deep breathe before walked towards the door. He stood a few feet away from me. "I don't want Paul around here Jackson. I'm serious."

"Who do you think you are?" I yelled at him. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Had he not been listening to me? "You are not my boyfriend, nor will you ever will be again Samuel Uley. So you have no right to tell me who I can and can not hang out with." I paused as I reached for the door and yanked it open. "Now get out."

Sam stared at me, his eyes filled with anger as he stormed to the door. "I mean it Jackson, Paul stays away."

"And I mean it when I say this Sam, fuck off." I growled back. Sam shook his head at me before storming the rest of the way out of my house, slamming the front door behind him. It wasn't until the door slammed shut I found my knee's going from underneath me and I felt myself sink to the floor. After that moment I couldn't help but cry, even though I didn't want too. The tears poured down my cheeks as I pulled my knees up to my chest.

I couldn't believe that we had fallen so far.. I mean once upon a time we loved each other. We were insanely in love and now.. Now this was a result of what that love had done to us. It screwed us up and we didn't even realise it. We were now two completely different people, damaged by the same love that had been our salvation. Sam had once meant everything to me and he still kinda did. It was hard to admit after our argument but a part of me would always love the Sam I had fallen in love with but this Sam?

That man wasn't the man I had fallen in love with and I knew I wasn't the same sweet innocent kid he had fallen for either. We were both changed men and to think we could of picked up were we left off was foolish. We weren't the same. Though I knew Sam loved me and I still had love for him it was pointless trying to fix things. The more we tried to fix things the more broken and ugly they would become.

* * *

><p><strong>TO BE CONTINUED<strong>

* * *

><p>Jackson Forbes (23) portrayed by Chase Coleman<p>

Paul Lahote (27) portrayed by Alex Meraz

Samuel Uley (28) portrayed by Steven Strait


End file.
